The End of the Honeymoon...

Well I still feel "blah" today but at least I'm showered and dressed.  It helped a little.  I'm acutally trying to psyche myself up to go to the gym.  I have on one of my favorite workout "outfits" (LOL!) and I've had a protein granola bar and am enjoying my probiotic enriched yogurt with berries and flax as I write this.  I've also had my daily vitamin and my morning dose of "over-the-counter" medication.  If I don't start feeling better today I'm going to have to rethink the walk-in clinic option.  Boooo! 

This little sinus thing is starting to do more than effect my health, I now feel my spirit is under attack as well.  Maybe it's just because Jarred is traveling and I miss him, but I've been blue the past couple of days.  Mainly I've been missing my old "home" in Lubbock, or more specifically my old life there.  I guess it all started when the girl that bought my house there actually e-mailed me on Sunday!!!  CRAZY!  I had actually met her at a meeting and she remembered my name and found my e-mail on an announcement for the organization. (She saw my name on some of the house paperwork.)  She just wrote how much they were enjoying the house and commented that "I must have little girls because she's found several beads and Barbie shoes throughout the house."  LOL!  Anyway, as much as I try not to associate "home" with a building that house does hold a lot of special memories.  I've never looked back at a house (we hardly ever go back to where we've been) much less communicate with the people that move in.  Weird.  On top of that my childhood home will soon be "home" to someone else.  I guess maybe all of this transistion is bringing to light the fact that I have to establish "roots" for my kids in some other form other than a physical long-term location to call "home".  I have to plant the seeds of faith in their hearts and pray that they grow roots to the only constant thing in our lives... Jesus!  Some days I feel like I'm doing good with it, others not so much.  It brings tears of joy to my eyes when Chloe says, "Jesus in my heart and He can't find the door to get out!"  I love it!  So precious. 

Anyway, I guess the novelty of our new move has finally worn off and the "honeymoon" of excitement for me is faded. Don't get me wrong, I do love our life here and I feel tremedously blessed to have been placed in such a welcoming group of friends!!!  I think when you move though, it's a "process"... you get there and everything is new and exciting and then at some point you transition to not being the "new kid" and you're still not confident in your new surroundings (where I am now) and then comfort and familiarity come with time.  I've watched my kids go through it the past few months and I am please to say they have survived and are thriving here!  Madeline actually pushed Colby out of the car this morning and was telling him to "Hurry up!" so she could catch up to walk with one of her schoolmates.  Part of me was sad that she was too busy to remember to turn back and tell me goodbye, but I was overwhelming proud and relieved!  I got a tiny taste of letting go.   A deep bittersweet pain. 

On a lighter note, I also feel the need to tell you that my "dancing days" are over.  This girl just doesn't have the "hip hop" style and the instructor told me (and several other girls) that we needed more practice.  I didn't do it for performance in the first place, but for fun.  The church has been offered several amazing outreach opportunities with the group and they will be able reach people in a new way.  Due to the public nature they are trying to make it the best it can be.  I took it as an opportunity to gracefully bow out.  I have to admit I am incredibly relieved!  Whew!  However, this means another trip back to the dreaded Wal-Mart to return the shoes.... guess that will require a venti Starbucks since I'll be having to do the customer service "experience." LOL!!!