Okay, so it's not exactly what I wanted, but at least you can enjoy the song. I'm slowly but surely becoming a little more "blog savy"... it's a LONG road ahead of me, but slow & steady wins the race right??? LOL!
We had a big change in our house this week.... Colby got glasses! Poor guy didn't know any better, and he finally mentioned having to get up in class to see the board a couple of weeks ago. Thankfully we had his 8 year well check around the same time and I had the pediatrician check his vision. Turns out he's considerably near-sighted. Wait, I think I have that right.... basically he can see close up and things far away are blurry. Anyway, after a very extensive exam at the optomotrist Monday (I had NO clue all the tests and tools they can use on your eyes... I was literally fascinated!), they were able to figure out his prescription.
After school we loaded the whole family up for the big event of choosing his frames and of course the BIG "reveal" for his new look. I must say, shopping for glasses for boys is much like shopping for clothes. There are about 8 choices... for little girls on the other hand, there were about 80!!! He was so funny carefully thinking his big decision over. Another thing that came as no surprise, is that my son takes after his momma when it comes to expensive taste. But can you really put a price on a child's confidence & vision???? And oh he looks SO handsome!!! Well, take a look for yourself!
I was overwhelmed during the whole shopping experience. I was a mess of emotions and even cried at one point (no surprise there huh, LOL!). I was overcome with guilt for not knowing how long he'd been struggling, and for any time I'd fussed at him for not "seeing" something. I was fearful of how he'd accept needing to wear them, and how others would treat him (let's face it, kids can be mean!!!). I was joyful that he was going to finally see, and I was releaved when I saw the excitement in his face. I can't even imagine.
It was absolutely precious the rest of the evening... he was fascinated with how GOOD he could see! Literally it was as if the fog had been lifted from his eyes. Trees had leaves, he could read signs far away, and even the tiny print!!! LOL! At one point he was sitting there looking at me with & without his glasses. He said, "Wow mom! You look so different!!! I never knew you weren't fuzzy!!!" Oh my! That right there was validation enough. I've never been (nor do I want to be again) called "fuzzy". LOL!!
This all reminded me of a scripture that I hold near and dear to my heart.
1 Corinthians 13:12 (The Message)
We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
Oh how I love how God works!!! How He can tie everything together like a neatly wrapped package. This week, Wednesday Novemeber 10th actually, was the anniversay of my dad's passing. I can't believe it's been 2 years!!!! Some days it feels like just yesterday. The hardest of days was not the day we laid him to rest, or even the day he passed. For me, it was the day that I realized I was going to have to say goodbye. It was Sunday, November 9, 2008. The Lord gave me 1 Corinthians 13 as a source of comfort during my grieving. At first I thought it was odd. I mean, that's a scripture you hear at weddings (and it was actually read at my parents, my brother's wedding & mine as a matter of fact!!!) But as I prayed over it and grieved, I began to piece together precious memories of my dad that later became his eulogy. What a blessing!! I'm so, SO thankful that the Lord once again placed that scripture on my heart this week in preparation for a difficult time of remembering. Honestly, 364 days out of the year I can speak truth in knowing that my dad is no longer in pain, that he is rejoicing and free. But November 10th is always hard. It's as if it's the one day I allow myself to be human and broken and grieve. I know that it's perfectly natural to do that, afterall Jesus wept too. I feel so blessed to have friends and family still faithfully here to love and support me (& my family) during that. Love never ends!!
Below is a copy of my dad's eulogy, one of the most difficult but my absolute most cherished thing I've had to write.
A legacy of love
It’s hard to think of where to start to honor the legacy Jim so graciously has built for our family. We pray his gift continues to grow in each of us so that we can pass it on to our children and grandchildren. When we began to list qualities that most reflect his character from those we’ve known as a family, cherished as relatives, and shared as friends; we were reminded of a scripture that was actually read at all of our weddings. In 1 Corinthians 13, we are reminded of the greatest gift we have to give and have been given –LOVE. Without exception, Jim embodied every one of the qualities listed in this passage. He was such a precious gift to us and to everyone here today because he gave us the greatest gift he could – his love.
1 Corinthians 13 (New Living Translation)
Love Is the Greatest
If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love.
Jim was so patient. He loved being punctual (part of his military training we suppose) and we often referred to him as our “alarm clock,” but he was always willing to give our family enough time to get ready to leave for a trip – even the last minute trips back into the house for a bottle of water or a potty break. He was so giving of his time in teaching Jason about electrical or plumbing issues, or even waiting for Angela to bring him the trash – her only chore while growing up and something he teased her about up until the day he was admitted to the hospital.
Jim was full of kindness. Always quick to volunteer his time to any cause, family member or friend. He faithfully helped with Jason’s Boy Scout commitments. He bravely volunteered to teach Angela how to drive. And without fail, he pumped Nellene’s gas every time until the day he was too sick – (we reassure her the gas stations today are fairly user-friendly).
Jim was never jealous. He never complained about what he didn’t have, he just worked harder to earn it or he made his own version for himself. He was thankful for what he had and used others’ successes to set new goals for himself.
Jim was never boastful. He was a quiet servant to those he loved, and never asked for acknowledgement of his actions, no matter how great or how small. However, he did enjoy letting others know when he had a great hand in dominoes, or smoked the perfect brisket. It was hard to get him to not cook everything in the house when he had a good fire in the pit. He truly enjoyed providing acts of service to friends and family - especially with yard work, spending time and making “elevator toys” for grandkids, and meeting new friends.
Jim was not proud, he was humble. He took pride in his family, his job, his garden, and his yard (we all had to go through “training” to be allowed to help with the yard). He was so proud of his family and their accomplishments – Jason and Angela both went to Texas A&M University on full scholarships from the company he served for over 30 years, he was so proud to be the Papa of six wonderful grandchildren. He made quite an impact in such a short time with each of them and each will dearly miss their Papa. Colby will always remember the day they spent together “fixing things” and how he made Papa his “Colby special” sandwich and Papa made the best root beer floats – with extra ice cream of course. Andrew’s favorite time with Papa was picking okra from the garden and when Papa taught him the right way to hold a hammer – at the bottom, and he even let him use a real one! Madeline’s favorite memory was when Papa went swimming with her while on vacation at Walt Disney World last summer and he really got in the pool! Allie, Austin and Chloe are all too little to share their special memories, but there is no doubt they each loved him dearly and spent many times fighting over who he would hold and who got to snuggle in his lap. Papa could fix anything and could make them laugh until everyone’s sides hurt. His smile and his laugh were infectious. Jim also had a great love for his country as he proudly served in the United States Air Force from 1970 -1974.
Jim was not ever rude – he was always respectful, never complaining about bad service or heaven forbid send food back for being wrong – he just considered the opportunity of trying something different. He always considered the glass half full instead of half empty. Because of his positive attitude he was blessed with many friends and was fondly referred to as “Jimbo”.
Jim never demanded his own way. He was gracious to others’ wishes. When Jason was little he wanted to get Mom a birthstone key-chain for her birthday. Jim spent several minutes trying to explain that they should get the December one because her birthday was in that month, but Jason, being 4 & ½ , knew she would really want the November key chain because that was HIS birthday month – needless to say, Nellene still has the yellow topaz key chain. In fact, Jim never really had a problem with going shopping – he would find a bench somewhere and volunteer to “guard” the packages. We soon learned that shortly after we left – he would drift off to a nap – no wonder he was always ready to go do something more when the rest of us were exhausted.
Jim was not easily angered. He was such a gentle giant. As a family, we remember even though we’d almost always get lost on our vacations, he never got angry. A few months ago he fixed that and got a Garmin. We’ve used it many times on our journey with him these past few months. He loved to show others everything it could do – especially how it could find restaurants.
Jim kept no record of being wronged, although if the computer beat him too many times when he played “Hearts” and “Spades” he would just turn it off and say,” I’ll show you, you dirty dog!”. He had such a witty sense of humor.
Jim did not rejoice in injustice – he never complained even when he had been wronged or injured. He made the best of life. If something was broken – a relationship, an appliance, or even an elevator, Jim rejoiced when it was fixed and done the best way it could be done – not the fastest. We’ll always remember (before technology replaced pagers and phone calls) when he would phone in to Otis, and he would say, “This is T-301-677 ….. I’m reporting a call-back.” to let them know he’d fixed the problem.
Jim never lost faith – he always believed, and always trusted. He never questioned the things in his life and was a firm foundation for our family. He never felt where you worshiped mattered as long as you listened to God’s Word.
Jim never gave up. He would always tinker with something until it was fixed. Of course he’s most known for his pursuit of perfect pictures – fine-tuning the focus, waiting for the right second, and persevering until even those that didn’t want their picture taken were captured in a candid moment. We are so blessed to have all of these treasured pictures and memories to remind us of him.
Jim was always hopeful – he often talked about the future and the trips he wanted to take to Washington DC, Kentucky, a Hawaiian cruise, the Mediterranean, or any other place that was spot-lighted in Texas Monthly or the Food Network. And he was always hopeful for more grandchildren – he loved any excuse to be like a kid again.
Jim endured every circumstance beyond measure! He was our superman! His strength surpassed so many circumstances and he held on until he was absolutely sure (checking not just once but twice) that we were going to be okay. He waited for us to all be together as a family and at peace. He gave us the time we needed and he loved us enough to hold on just as we loved him enough to let go.
Jim helped us to grow in our faith and although we don’t know God’s purpose for taking him so soon, we will see everything with perfect clarity when we see him again in our Heavenly Father’s house. What we know now is partial and incomplete, but when we meet again, we will know everything completely, just as God now knows Jim and each of us completely.
We have our faith, stronger now than ever, and know he is in a better place. We have hope that we can continue his legacy and honor him, and we will always have the greatest gift – his love.
We feel the words to “Because You Loved Me” by Celine Dion provide perfect closure and honor all the things Jim did for us.
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through it all
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining
your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cuz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
Jim was more that a husband, a father, son, brother, uncle, co-worker and friend – he was a gift for each of us here today. He loved with his whole heart and never looked back. The world is a better place because of him, and we celebrate his life today. We feel blessed to have had him as a part of our life and will cherish his memories, laugh, smile, and most of all his love!
